Tuesday 14th August

Hi

I know I have not written for a while. But I have been so busy and it has been wonderful as it is all positive.

Since completing my Degree in July, I have felt in limbo. I was expecting all the doors to open and they did not. I felt disappointed and low, no relationship in my life and a job, that although I enjoyed, was not going to further my career.  On top of this, my Degree was dismissed as irrelevant when I asked to go up a pay grade.

” You have to be here 18 months to 2 years before it is considered. It has to fair for those who do not have Degree’s.’

I was told.

So I went for an internal role and didn’t get it. Instead, someone with less experience who had been 4 months did. No, I do not understand it either, so I decided not to sit about grumbling, but to get off my backside and find someone who did see my value.

I sent out CV’s to agencies to see if my skills, experience and Degree WERE worth anything.

I had email after email back. I was invited to interviews and got each one. I was over the moon.

You see, if you do not feel valued where you are, depression can set in. Self-doubt and feeling unworthy can have a detrimental effect on your wellbeing.  If people in work, your relationships, anywhere, do not see your value, then look for people who will.

Life is too short to stay somewhere that makes you miserable. Listen to this video by Rob Dial

He is so right as well! OK, we need money to pay the bills and enjoy our lives. But that does not mean we have to punish our selves and feel unworthy. May I add that I love working with my patients, it is the politics in the workplace that was bringing me down.

I also like manifesting and tarot reading. My current one shows that I am going through some form of transformation, turning from feeling frustrated to feeling free.

So if you are feeling trapped, undervalued and disrespected look to those who do love, value and respect you.

Wednesday 25th July 2018

Good afternoon!

Saturday night was amazing! I spent time with great friends, had fun and got home safely.

Sunday was spending time with my two dogs. They are also my best friends! Going for nice long walks and cooking all three of us Sunday lunch (vegetarian for me).

These are the ties I totally enjoy, these are the times I can truly relax and enjoy myself. It has taken a long time to get back to this after my attack last year. It took me right back to the beginning of a time that I wanted to forget and move on from, but I have learnt to accept it and use it for good. I can use my journey to assist others through theirs so they don’t feel so alone.

Mental illness still holds a stigma even though we are doing well regarding talking about it more and more. I was diagnosed with depression years ago and still dip now and again, after last year, I was diagnosed with PTSD as well. Having ‘labels’ does not define me or make me a weak person. In fact, it empowers me, because when I get ‘ill’, and I have learnt to spot my own personal red flags, I know what safety measures to put it into place. If it means having to take a day off work, I take it. I try not to stress about money because the simple fact is that if continue then I will end up having a longer period off from work. Which isn’t great as I thoroughly enjoy my work which is supporting others. But how can I support others if I cannot look after myself?

Sometimes, we have to be more self-aware in order to help others, that if we have that inclination. I find it sad when I meet people who are so wrapped up in themselves they are oblivious to others pain, they are only interested in their own self-interests and greed and it does not matter who they step on or hurt to get what they want.

So, just for today, be kind to someone else, smile at a stranger, help someone., give your time.

 

mayaangelou1-2x